synthetorium's Xanga

Everyone gets what they deserve

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 11:30:08 GMT

I am so ashamed to have ever called you my friend
you got what was coming.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 02:58:14 GMT

it has been awhile
& the holidays are coming easier
barely easier. but easier.

i am accepted to college.
lancaster general...
my first and only real choice.

i've lost a lot of people in the last two years.
but the one that i gained
will always keep me smiling.

i'm not to sure what to say anymore
i've really been at a loss for words
so long and goodnight.

hide

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 01:34:49 GMT

im a good person with a good heart
theres just a lot you have to get passed to see that

i have reasons for this.

my humor seems like it must have been sweetened with salt.

feeling this much contentment

Sun, 13 Jul 2008 00:35:04 GMT

Blue like water
Blue like heaven is all of the time
I'm all right
I'm just gagging on all the all right
I'm so happy
So happy
I'm in heaven
Yeah heaven
Oh the season's come for opium
Mom...mom
Mom...mom
I'm so happy
I'm in heaven
Yeah heaven
Oh the seizures come from opium

this song is a metaphor for my life in an odd way.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 22:40:37 GMT

i want to go climbing today
really bad
but this PICC line wont let me.
20 days to go.

got some bad plumbing

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:30:14 GMT

you know those mornings
you wake up with a sickness in your stomach
and you feel that somethings just
not going to go right today

today was one of those days

but im okay
because i understand this time
she lived 84 years
which makes her death more understandable
than a 17 year old & 7 month old being murdered
that left me for 4 years and counting
with a complete lack of understanding

certain things are better left unsaid.

today the PICC line [look it up] in my left arm
for lyme disease
it really didnt hurt
i guess i got a break today
because bigger things came along.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:23:37 GMT

i havent been on here in awhile.
but tomorrow i start my new job.
and im nevous as hell.
like even though its probably the best
possible job i could ever have.
im so nervous.

also this week i get the picc line
put in my arm
which means no swimming
no climbing.
no extreme physical activity.
which is a bummer
but i suppose 30 days of that
and then i have a lifetime of feeling better.
its worth it.

anyways.
im just so happy with the few but very important people
that are in my life.
i think i finally got it right.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:23:04 GMT

i really feel quite content.

all i can do is just pour some tea for two. and speak my point of view but its not sane.

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 20:43:10 GMT

i really like the few people
that can help me escape from what is actually going on.
because alot of things are starting to drive me down.
things i have no control over.
theres no point in talking about it to most people
because they dont get it or just dont see it.
im not sad. im not upset.
im really extremely happy. just stressed.
i like it better when hes not home.
because i suddenly feel this weight lifted off my chest
and im not the only one.
the other two people i share the house with when its just us
are starting to feel the same way.

i dont hate you - like you think.
just sometimes your hard to deal with.
and i cant make you feel better. everytime me being sad
brings you down.

p.s- i still feel quite bodily crappy and tired most of the time.
i think this was alot farther along then we thought.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 05:27:11 GMT

today
me and nate went
to a rock climbing gym
in delaware.
i havent done that since i was like 12
and it was a helluva lot of fun.
i definitely suprised myself
with it.